Helping People Change

What do you do for a person who is living in opposition to God’s truth? This could be a person who has confessed being a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ or even a person who has not. The advice is very clear:

2 Timothy 2:24–26 (ESV) — 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

Please notice that helping people change begins with the person who is seeking to bring change in the life of another. As a servant of the Lord, it is imperative that you discard a quarrelsome spirit. Too many people approach someone that they have deemed in need of a change, and they enter the initial discussion that seems they want to pick a fight, rather than be a minister of change.

Proverbs 26:21 (ESV) — 21 As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.

Thankfully, we have the safeguard to avoid a quarrelsome spirit, namely the insight that the person needs to come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil. That means we must realize it is God who grants repentance and an understanding of the truth. There’s an account of a young man who did just that, the prodigal son, who had squandered all that he had and came to his senses.

Luke 15:14–19 (ESV) — 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. 17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” ’

Please take note of the fact that this happened without the father or anyone else. God can use the means of the ministry of another person, but God is still the one who must grant a “coming to their senses” and repentance. Neither can be forced or manipulated. That means that if you are going to help another person change you need to be a dependent servant of the Lord Jesus Christ, depending upon God to work in your life to keep you from being quarrelsome, to help you be compassionate, and for the grace to wait upon Him for results.

As you begin this noble task in the right frame of mind, keep in mind that you are called to be “able to teach and endure evil.” Able to teach is the same as being ready to bring the Scriptures to every situation as you are ready to minister the word of God. This does not mean you are a “Bible thumper,” rather faithful to bring things back to the truth, knowing that if there isn’t the word, there isn’t truth, and the person has no basis for help. Notice too that there is the call for “patience in enduring evil.” Exposure to truth brings out the worst in people who are bound in a lie. This tells us to be prepared for it and be ready to be patient in the situation. Consider how Peter rebuked Jesus and how Jesus responded.

Luke 22:31–34 (ESV) — 31 “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, 32 but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” 33 Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” 34 Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.”

Notice the last phrase of instruction for all who will seek to be a minister of change: “correcting his opponents with gentleness.” It’s easy to correct a person but it’s another thing to correct with gentleness. Gentleness is associated with the working of the Spirit of God in our lives.

Galatians 5:22–23 (ESV) — 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Gentleness is a good test whether we are humble rather than arrogant. Gentleness is seeking to be like Jesus Christ so the only way that will take place is dependency upon Him.

Matthew 11:28–30 (ESV) — 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

John 15:4–5 (ESV) — 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

I hope you have noticed that the key to being a minister of change is to be “the Lord’s servant” therefore seeking to be like the Master as you learn from Him and depend upon Him. Before you even think about how much a person needs to change so that you may have complained about them or made snide remarks about them – Wake up! They need someone who will exemplify this description of the Lord’s servant who will help institute change, but it begins with the servant.

From the servant depending upon God, to God answering prayer in bringing the person to their senses and repentance, then there is instruction in the truth and finding an escape from the snare of the devil and his captivity. If you want to see someone change, don’t go at it alone. You need God from beginning to end because He is the only one who will bring the change.

Godspeed,

Bob Brubaker, Pastor

Christ Community Presbyterian Church

Clearwater, FL

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